Dress Up With Inner Beauty

Lupita Nyong’o in her speech talked about her inhibitions owing to being a black woman and how she has overcome it. Even Hollywood has woken up and appreciated the talented woman that Lupita is. She is so inspiring and so is Alek Wek, a successful black super model.

While I was listening to Lupita’s speech I could relate to her many ways, mainly because we share the skin color though not nationalities and profession. Every word of hers when she talked about being teased, ignored because of her color reminded me of my childhood. I was a regular target of all the fair skinned children of my school. May be because then I didn’t know how to retaliate. I would wish that some fairy would come to me with her magical wand and would make a fair girl. But, it never happened.

With passage of time, I learnt to cope with bullies in school. I was in a Marathi medium school dominated by so called fair skinned (colorless) Brahmins who decided intelligence and abilities on basis of damn skin color. Initially, I would shout and slowly I didn’t realize when I became a sort of bully for those who would even dare to trouble my brother for his color or other students. I don’t justify my actions but it sort of made me happy that I could take control of the situations. Sorry, I never believed in Gandhian philosophy in this case. I believed if someone slaps you, you better kick their ass hard. I remember one of my maternal uncles telling me that anyone who calls you ‘kaali’ or ‘kalundri (black mouse)’ tell them, “mera to permanent color hai, apna dekho, koi guarantee nahi (you know what I have permanent color but can’t be sure of yours (your fair skin)).” I know, I must have said this to a lot of students during my school days. Now when I think about that time, it gives me a hearty laugh. 

Thanks to my parents who always thought of their first me (i.e me) as the cutest girl around. Every parent think so. My parents are one of those unusual pairs where woman is black/dusky, not beautiful in conventional terms and the man is fair skinned. For that I love my papa, he had eyes to see my mom’s beautiful mind and chose her as his life partner. And, he is very proud of that. As I child, whenever I would see my parents,  I would feel sad that though I have taken all my qualities from my father, I didn’t take on his complexion. But, I realized, I am still my papa’s girl and he loves me so much. And my mom, she was my rockstar, she taught me, give a damn to this world, do what you feel is right and fight your case.

During school days, I would always get a last line to stand in my school choir or annual gathering. This would hurt me to no end. This damn favoritism to fair skin has been after me till date. But now I know what to do with such dimwits. I don’t get bogged down by the comments rather give it back to them who even dare to point it. However, in some cases, I am completely helpless as it is impossible to make a person understand or say I don’t make an attempt to make them understand (especially the potential grooms that I have met so far.). I like it that way. I chuckle thinking about their undeveloped brains.

Coming back to Lupita, I hope in India, too, people go beyond a woman’s color and physical beauty. There is so much more to a woman than just her color and her physical attributes. Isn’t it important to have a beautiful mind than just a body. All women who are not conventionally beautiful, who are dark/dusky, learn to wear your inner beauty with élan. ‘coz there are people who would appreciate you for what you are. But first you got to be at peace with yourself, the world would know eventually.

Till then, sanu ki!

Wats special? What the h@#%

“So, wats special today?”, this question has been hounding me like a hungry dog since morning. And, I am fed of answering it. So, what if it’s  THE VALENTINES DAY today and I am not going out to celebrate it.

Spare me! (And forgive me certain Miss for using your fav. reaction). Let me tell you whats so special today. It is Friday; end of the week and this makes me happy more than anything. I am one of those who eagerly wait for Friday since the beginning of the week and go into depression on the Sunday evening.

So, I am happy and I don’t need a valentine to make me happy and that’s about it.

I may not have that special someone in my life but I do have my valentines – my family, my friends, my wonderful ex-colleagues (can’t say same about my current ones ‘coz I hate them as much as they do, so feeling is mutual). I am totally flabbergasted by the total amount of preparations people are getting into to celebrate this one day. Just to say or express your love to your special someone. Somebody should try to find out how many love affairs actually make or brake on this day. I am still wondering who the happiest people are on this day. Certainly, those who sell the V-day memorabilia’s as these are the people who go to the bank laughing. 

I know I cannot convince my stupid ideas to anyone so these mad ramblings on my blog. Here, nobody dares me to shut up. Even back home, my bro has got a gift for my sis-in-law (SIL) for the day. Wow! So that would save my bro from getting scolded for one day. My poor bro! Also, this would be the day my SIL won’t be getting upset and would have a reason to smile. So, I say it’s good.

But I really don’t understand why you need a materialistic gift to express your love to someone. You know the AGE, where my parents belonged, when my dad shared household work and that would be make my mom’s day. For my parents, that was love. I know this must be the case for many of them who are in their 70s and 80s. I, too, believe in this kind of love which doesn’t require a day or a particular gift to express it. Any moment would be perfect when my man decides to say it. Hmmmm….filmy isn’t it. But, can’t help it.

So till then, every year I will be criticizing, laughing, giving weird expressions to people who ask me “wat’s so special?”

A Case of Fourth Seat

Yesterday, while traveling back home, one of the travelers sat on the fourth seat in the first class compartment. When she was asked to get up, she simply said that show me the rule book which says “no fourth seat in the first class compartment”. One of my friends got angry at her ‘coz the fourth seat passenger was causing trouble to her and so politely asker her to get up. While the fourth seat passenger was tad rude with my friend. I wish I had said something to her then or at least shown her the railway message in the compartment which clearly states ‘only 13 passengers’. But I couldn’t because I didn’t want to agree with someone who is devoid of commonsense.

I know with this only my fellow first class travelers would agree. I am not being inhuman or behaving like some arrogant, rich bitch. But I want to convey that Railways has made first class for the comfort travel and we pay almost five times of the second class for this so call discomforted travel. In such scenario, if we have a seat, we are entitled to seat comfortably on the seat which is logically meant only for three people. Am I asking too much? I don’t think so.

With this post, I am not supporting class distinctions but if I am paying for a particular way of traveling, I should be getting at least basic rights of the travel. Now, even basic comforts of travel are not provided to first class travelers especially ladies compartment which are smaller than a matchbox. And, they have been like this since time immemorial. The Indian Railways seem to be giving royal ignore to equality to women factor when it comes to first class compartments for women.

Coming back to fourth seat, I know it is a priceless possession for those who manage to get it in the crowded local train. But I still have a problem with the entire concept be it in the first class or second class as it only cause discomfort to others. I really want to know who came up with this weird concept of fourth seat in local trains. Forgive me, but specially women jus forget their own physical expanses and want to fit in the fourth seat which is not good for their own spines as well as creates trouble to others. I prefer not to seat on the fourth seat and urge others not to do so. I heard women saying, “Hum ne paisa diya hai, fukat samjha hai kya?” My dear ladies it is not about traveling without valid ticket, it is all about understanding and making travel smooth.

It is very difficult to make the fellow women understand especially if they are from first class as they are all together a different species which I would talk about in my next post.

Still single…

“You are STILL single!”, “Why your daughter is not married yet?”, “Is there a problem with her?”, “You can’t stay single, you have to get married”, this and many more exclamations/questions I have been hearing since long from each and every person around me. Surprise element in their voices and the big question mark on their faces still amuse me.

I am 35, single and happy. I think that is the problem with all the people around me including my family who is still trying to find me a suitable groom. While I am happy the way my life is going and don’t want any additional trouble (read husband) for me as I am not ready to share my life with anyone. I know, my married friends are going to get angry with this statement of mine and me sure that they would say “she doesn’t know what she is missing” (really, am i?) while some of them may empathize with me (especially the married ones trapped with wrong choices).

I am not averse to idea of marriage but there is no need to go out to full-fledged in search for that Mr. Right. As for me, there is nothing called Mr. Right that exists in this world. It is all about one person getting ready to adjust with the other irrespective of the differences. In my case, I have not met such a person so far and so, I am single and loving it.

But these days’, being single is like having committed punishable offence at least in the society where I live in; where girls are supposed to be getting married at the right age. It may not be surprising phenomenon for the elite society but it still is a taboo in middle class families. For parents getting their daughters married is the prime responsibility and this is prevalent even in the educated middle class families living in metros. So you are from rural area or from metro city, you have to get married. I don’t think it is anywhere different for the boys as well as I come across a lot of single, unmarried males.

So, here in my blog, I will write about being single, non-committed, never-been-in-relationship and other fundas of my life. Also, a lot of about the things, incidences that amuse me, surprise me or at times leave me speechless…yes, there has to be really something powerful to make me shut up!