Lupita Nyong’o in her speech talked about her inhibitions
owing to being a black woman and how she has overcome it. Even Hollywood has woken up and appreciated the
talented woman that Lupita is. She is so inspiring and so is Alek Wek, a
successful black super model.
While I was listening to Lupita’s speech I could relate to
her many ways, mainly because we share the skin color though not nationalities
and profession. Every word of hers when she talked about being teased, ignored
because of her color reminded me of my childhood. I was a regular target of all
the fair skinned children of my school. May be because then I didn’t know how
to retaliate. I would wish that some fairy would come to me with her magical
wand and would make a fair girl. But, it never happened.
With passage of time, I learnt to cope with bullies in
school. I was in a Marathi medium school dominated by so called fair skinned
(colorless) Brahmins who decided intelligence and abilities on basis of damn
skin color. Initially, I would shout and slowly I didn’t realize when I became
a sort of bully for those who would even dare to trouble my brother for his
color or other students. I don’t justify my actions but it sort of made me
happy that I could take control of the situations. Sorry, I never believed in
Gandhian philosophy in this case. I believed if someone slaps you, you better
kick their ass hard. I remember one of my maternal uncles telling me that
anyone who calls you ‘kaali’ or ‘kalundri (black mouse)’ tell them, “mera to permanent color hai, apna dekho, koi
guarantee nahi (you know what I have permanent color but can’t be sure of
yours (your fair skin)).” I know, I must have said this to a lot of students
during my school days. Now when I think about that time, it gives me a hearty
laugh.
Thanks to my parents who always thought of their first me
(i.e me) as the cutest girl around. Every parent think so. My parents are one
of those unusual pairs where woman is black/dusky, not beautiful in
conventional terms and the man is fair skinned. For that I love my papa, he had
eyes to see my mom’s beautiful mind and chose her as his life partner. And, he
is very proud of that. As I child, whenever I would see my parents, I would feel sad that though I have taken all
my qualities from my father, I didn’t take on his complexion. But, I realized, I
am still my papa’s girl and he loves me so much. And my mom, she was my rockstar, she taught me, give a damn to this world, do what you feel is right and fight your case.
During school days, I would always get a last line to stand
in my school choir or annual gathering. This would hurt me to no end. This damn
favoritism to fair skin has been after me till date. But now I know what to do
with such dimwits. I don’t get bogged down by the comments rather give it back
to them who even dare to point it. However, in some cases, I am completely
helpless as it is impossible to make a person understand or say I don’t make an
attempt to make them understand (especially the potential grooms that I have
met so far.). I like it that way. I chuckle thinking about their undeveloped
brains.
Coming back to Lupita, I hope in India , too, people go beyond a
woman’s color and physical beauty. There is so much more to a woman than just
her color and her physical attributes. Isn’t it important to have a beautiful
mind than just a body. All women who are not conventionally beautiful, who are
dark/dusky, learn to wear your inner beauty with élan. ‘coz there are people
who would appreciate you for what you are. But first you got to be at peace
with yourself, the world would know eventually.
Till then, sanu ki!
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